Tuesday, January 11, 2011

What hath we wrought?

We have created a monster. The baby has learned to crawl.

Now if you plop her down in a corner, expecting her to be there when you get back, you will be dismayed. The little monster scoots everywhere, picks up everything, and puts it in her mouth. Do you have any idea what this does to electrical circuitry?

We have had to resort to bars to keep the creature confined. Its caterwauling, however, has only become more agonizing. I suspect some kind of frequency distribution targeted to the human nervous system. The creature waits for the most unexpected times - say, 4:00 AM - before cutting loose with its auditory assault.

More disturbing, just yesterday it learned to hide under a blanket. When we expressed surprise at its sudden return to visibility, it cackled with unabashed evil glee. Does this sudden ability with subterfuge harken a more dangerous future? I shudder to think of the creature developing sufficient intellect to utilize weapons, but my co-conspirator in this research is dismissive of my fears. And perhaps she is right - the monster's claws, when applied to unprotected skin, are sufficiently painful. I have considered only approaching when suitably armored, but my partner assures me this will only display weakness, an admission I concede we dare not make.

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